I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough
|—||Clementine Von Radics|
things i told the internet, but didn’t tell my mom
35mm film scans
some pictures about my backwards concept of privacy.
i. it’s getting bad again
ii. this week i am struggling with self doubt and the transition from iced coffee to hot coffee
iii. i want to puke and sleep for six days
iv. i still can’t sit on your couch without shaking
v. i need other people to validate that i am important because i can’t do it for myself
vi. no one else has ever told me that i am desirable with the lights on
I love you so much. Thank you. I’m just having a really hard time and I’m hurt. I’m just really hurt. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to “stay strong” and move on, but that doesn’t make this any less painful.
And I want to give you a big hug because you did not deserve to be cheated on- no one deserves that. But I know how you felt (or still feel perhaps) that even when someone’s hurt you, the feelings don’t go away. I was cheated on, not by the current guy, but in the past, and I remember how much it hurt and how much I had still cared about him even after he hurt me. But I definitely learned from that.
Thank you for reaching out to me. I really needed a friend.
I’m never letting anyone close to me again. It hurts too much when they leave after putting so much faith and trust in them.